We've updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Reset To Factory Specs

by Leslie Hudson

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Bonus PDF digital booklet with lyrics & liner notes
    Purchasable with gift card

      $15 USD  or more

     

1.
Mermaid 03:22
If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they're trying to get laid If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they think they got played Heaven forbid they see me on the stage As more than a girl from the center page I'm more than the sum of my lady parts That's not how we get to the top of the charts If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they're trying to get laid If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they think they got played You better run quick 'cause I'm burning this bridge It's the first thing I did when I opened the fridge The first thing I did was to take a deep breath Then I let out the fire that burned in my chest If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they're trying to get laid If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they think they got played The sea is full of princes who can't swim So tell me what's the point in learning to walk for them? Oh, the sea is full of princes who can't swim So tell me WTF's the point learning to walk for them? Kick with your feet and I'm sure you'll be fine I gotta go cuz I'm bringing the wine I gotta go cuz they're waiting on me Down where the party is under the sea If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they're trying to get laid If I make 'em cry for the mermaid It's not because they think they got played If I make 'em cry for the mermaid I make 'em cry
2.
I thought that we were safe in the hideout I didn't know that you were feeling from the inside-out That me in tiny shorts outweighed My oblivious display Of what I was afraid to say To anyone else then Anyone else then I thought that we had trust in our pockets I didn't think we'd find an easy way to unlock it That years of close activity And raucous incivility And knowing what you knew of me Could shatter that way, but Shatter that way, but He whispered in your ear The cruelest lies that you could hear Pulled the rug out under When he left you like the plunder he discards With your dignity in shards Discarded Dignity in shards (irretrievable) I thought you'd side with me over a stranger I didn't think you'd make me feel like we were in danger But you unleashed the hurricane And soaked me with your acid rain Till it blew out the way it came And we were irretrievable We were irretrievable I stood still in the torrent of your words That stuck to my skin Disbelieving And I stood still in the torrent of your words That stuck to my skin Disbelieving We were irretrievable We were irretrievable When the storm was over And the truth had been picked clean We were irretrievable We were irretrievable
3.
88 Keys 03:10
It's the middle of the night And I can't sleep I still can't remember What's buried too deep 88 keys again It's the middle of the night And I am beat Holding this together Adapt and repeat Just me and these 88 keys again Dancing a waltz To the rhythm of my pen On 88 keys again It's the middle of the night And I just weep Haunted by the nightmares That follow me to sleep 88 keys again (follow me to sleep) 88 keys again (follow me to sleep) Just me and these 88 keys again Dancing a waltz To the rhythm of my pen On 88 keys again 88 keys again 88 keys again
4.
My window on the world Is anchored to this spot I'm used to driving distances Across the map from dot to dot Now when I look up There's a ring of cedar trees around the sky Ever constant, ever changing As am I Even standing still Sundown and stepping out To touch the grass and breathe in She looked up So I looked up As 50 crows flew overhead So silently I would have missed them Otherwise Wingtips tipped in vibrant orange light Leaving me to bask In the afterglow of crows' flight Wingtips tipped in vibrant orange light Leaving me to bask In the afterglow of crows' flight Even standing still Even standing still Hawks and moths and butterflies Finches, jays and lullabies Vultures riding thermals high Hawks and moths and butterflies Finches, jays and lullabies Vultures riding thermals high Even standing still Even standing still Even standing still Even standing still All is flux and so am I Even standing still while I
5.
Blind Spots 03:26
Lying alone in bed All of these memories in my head All of these injuries left unsaid Counting When I was touched without my consent When I was groomed until I relented When I was hammered until I bent Doubting I want to feel That even the blind spots are real Cuz I want to heal This beaten soul I want to find That mythical boundary line That I stand behind Until I feel whole Asking the girls I've been Whether I'd go through it all again Whether I'd stop before diving in Wondering I know I've lost my way When I am carving myself into pieces to stay When I'm living to get through the day Crumbling I want to feel That even the blind spots are real Cuz I want to heal This beaten soul I want to find That mythical boundary line That I stand behind Until I feel whole I know who I had to be to get here I want to feel That even the blind spots are real Cuz I want to heal This beaten soul
6.
Predator 02:50
There's a predator lurking On the verge of being seen And normally I wouldn't care Cuz nothing frightens me Except the predator pacing Round the edge and marking me Ostensibly I wouldn't flinch But he's been haunting me He's a predator I know he's a predator There's a predator sliding Back and forth behind his eyes That casually he tries to hide But no one tells me lies Even the predator waiting For the offspring of the prize That got away He can't keep his desires at bay His eyes will say What his mouth will not give away Predator His eyes will say What his mouth will not give away Predator I know he's a predator A child is allowed to be innocent When monsters stay under the bed But she learns very soon That outside the cocoon Monsters can carry balloons instead Predator There's a predator standing By the rudder of the boat Sadistically he dips me into fear To watch me float Evade the predator whispering So no one else can hear I don't know why I know this But I gotta get away from here Run away His eyes will say What his mouth will not give away Run away His eyes will say What his mouth will not give away Predator I know he's a predator I know he's a predator I know he's a predator And he missed me by that much
7.
Barricades 03:03
I've been sitting with my silence Thinking isn't this a kindness Cuz I promised I would keep it In the place where I keep all your secrets safe Town to town and tire to tire Kitchenettes and backyard fires And miles to reconsider While you slither slither slither away From the skin I wore Slapped so hard behind closed doors My smile on upside-down While I kept finding ways to drown In bottles and bars and boulevards Beautiful men and broken down cars In buttons and buckles and barricades It's been years since I remembered How we came to find November Making all the wrong decisions With the clearest kinda vision we could Lie to lie and lull to lull Catch a falling mirrorball With years to reconsider How you slither slither slithered away From the lips I wore Kissed so hard behind closed doors My smile on upside-down While I kept finding ways to drown In bottles and bars and boulevards Beautiful men and broken down cars In buttons and buckles and barricades Buttons and buckles and barricades All tied up and nowhere to turn When I tore myself free all our bridges had burned There was no going back again So we split up our stuff and we split up our friends But what they don't know is my gift to you Costs me as long as I give it So it can slip through the cracks or I can punch through This silence just makes me relive it I've been sitting with my silence Thinking isn't this a kindness Cuz I promised I would keep your secrets But the skin I wore Was slapped so hard behind closed doors My smile on upside-down While I kept finding ways to drown In bottles and bars and boulevards Beautiful men and broken down cars In buttons and buckles and barricades Buttons and buckles and barricades I've been sitting with my silence Thinking isn't this a kindness Cuz I promised I would keep your secrets
8.
Silent Era 04:05
I've been outspoken for most of my life I was an independent unconventional wife I am a daughter estranged by truth I've been the woman that I fantasized about in my youth And I can look back at the patterns Speckled freckled heckled by compliance And I can feel the fires Smoking choking stoking up my young defiance In that silent era To that silent era me I've fought depression for all of my adult life I've been a drinker, a taker, and danced to the rhythm with strife I've been addicted to the pleasure of pain I've been the picture, the mirror, the track and the oncoming train And I can look back at the patterns Speckled freckled heckled by compliance And I can feel the fires Smoking choking stoking up my young defiance In that silent era You didn't hear her but that scream left her throat All that she had to give's on the cutting room floor While you get your coat She memorized her lines note for dubbed-over note Do it again for the camera And this time emote And I can look back at the patterns Speckled freckled heckled by compliance And I can feel the fires Smoking choking stoking up my young defiance To be free From what they said I could be In that silent era To that silent era me
9.
The Waltz 05:03
Sunrise again And for one brief moment I'm free and clear to start When nobody's here When nothing is hard Breathing again No longer beholden To who I was last night When I shed my skin When I felt that Bite How do I survive such spite? At least I know the culprit this time That tiny little voice inside Always swears It wasn't me I watch the snow Falling through sunlight Like I wish that I could be Silent I'd fly And happy I'd seem I want to know How to stop falling When everything starts to melt And tries to seep in Past everything I've Felt How do I survive this hell? I thought I knew the culprit so well That tiny little voice won't tell It just swears It wasn't me It just swears it wasn't me It just swears it wasn't me So I guess it's Rinse and repeat Once more for good measure Take a deep breath and cry Flirting with death Won't keep you alive Hold and retreat Dancing between them Till all of the world's a stage So what's in a girl? And what is on her Page? How do I survive these flames? It's time to give the culprit a name That tiny little voice I'll blame When it swears It wasn't me Oh it swears it wasn't me Swears it wasn't me But it was Oh it was We both know it was Always me
10.
The warmth of solitary In a winter of sound I can feel connected Even with no one around The swarm of overwhelming In a flurry of choice I can feel rejected Even by my own voice Even by my own voice Even by my own voice But circumstance has smiled On the introvert today For once it isn't all about Drive drive drive drive play The stage can wait for me to say I'm okay, I'm okay The kindnesses of strangers In a vacuum of space I can feel beloved Even when I hide my face The mindlessness of doing In a void of healthy thought I can feel unloved Even when I know I'm not Even when I know I'm not Even when I know I'm not But circumstance has smiled On the introvert today For once it isn't all about Drive drive drive drive play The stage can wait for me to say I'm okay, I'm okay
11.
Reset 03:34
Strip it back All the layers and opacities Masking incapacities I have played many parts to the bone Now let the beetles do their holy work Tell the story ridge by quirk I commit to every start But then I wind up here again Time for a reset to factory specs Before I know what happens next Under the red Away from the lens I get to reset and start again Pack it in Cut my losses and my atrophies And my barely dry catastrophes I can break any mold if I try Now that the fissures are invisible Counting every syllable I'm convinced the story's told But then I wind up here again Time for a reset to factory specs Before I know what happens next Under the red Away from the lens I get to reset and start again Start again Start again

about

If you know me, you know I like to tell stories. I love tangents and footnotes. I like to find my way into the mind of a person in a myth or a folktale and write what I discover about them from the inside-out. This time I've done that with my own life.

There are parts of myself I've kept hidden. Pieces of who I really am, memories of what's really happened to me, ways I've survived and how I've grown out of ashes. So many Tower cards, and me, navigating the rubble.

For this album I removed all the masks and set aside every voice but my own, to let myself face and embrace who I am and write about it: a queer, autistic, non-binary survivor who's lucky to be here and to be so loved.

Thanks to: S. J. Tucker & the Beehive for that safe space where it all began; John Argentiero for hearing the notes in my head & being my musical other half; Caroline & Janet Julian for being my home & family; Betsy for cello; Mat for mastering; Lindsay for my eyes; Stacy for my hair; my patrons; my backers; the fine arts nexus that continues to grow around my music; and everyone who supports my work & my person

credits

released August 5, 2022

All songs written by Leslie Hudson
Produced by Leslie Hudson and John Argentiero
Mastered by Mat Leffler-Schulman at Mobtown Studios, Baltimore

MUSIC
Leslie: piano & vocals
John: guitars, bass, drum programming, additional keyboards
Betsy Tinney: cello (tracks 4 & 9)

COVER DESIGN
Lindsay Bennett: original painting
Stacy Koviak-Davison: art treatment
Leslie: layout

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Leslie Hudson Stratford, Ontario

Leslie Hudson is a Canadian singer songwriter and pianist. Their albums range from storytelling styles to bluesy bar rock to dialed-up, full-band homages to pop culture. With lyrical piano skills and a voice that cuts through the crowd, their songs dive deep into archetype and folklore, modernizing ancient voices & shining a spotlight on the shadowy paths we walk through life, myth and media. ... more

contact / help

Contact Leslie Hudson

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Leslie Hudson recommends:

If you like Leslie Hudson, you may also like: