Following our orders barely off the ground
Don’t know what we’re doing but we’re getting around
Bumping into Vulcans everywhere we go
And we’re messing up a timeline we don’t know

It’s the Captain’s mess
He’ll clean it up
Or find someone who will
We’re professionals
In service for the thrill

I’m a simple yeoman
Fetching forms to sign
Reprimands and transfers
Simple by design
Sometimes I bring coffee but don’t deliver flowers
Sometimes I make house calls after hours

It’s the Captain’s mess
He’ll clean it up
Or find someone who will
We’re professionals
In service for the thrill

I just beamed the Klingons over to our ship
One of them will lead the Council
One of them will flip
Hope this doesn’t pull us into civil war
Isn’t this what the Prime Directive’s for?

It’s the Captain’s mess
He’ll clean it up
Or find someone who will
We’re professionals
In service for the thrill

I have served the Prophets
Thought I knew my stuff
Now I’ve got the Emissary callin’ my bluff
Didn’t like the old boss
This one’s not as bad
But I don’t wanna be the one to make him mad

It’s the Captain’s mess
He’ll clean it up
Or find someone who will
We’re professionals
In service for the thrill

I was not expecting to fly this far away
No one’s gonna know me when I’m old and grey
Didn’t think my crewmate would be a former drone
I don’t think I can do this
I just wanna go home

It’s the Captain’s mess
She’ll clean it up
Or find someone who will
We’re professionals
In service for the thrill

Every Captain stumbles
Every Captain shines
Each one carries burdens
Each one crosses lines
Every Captain has a vice
Hidden or exposed
Livin’ hard the life they chose

It’s the Captain’s mess
They’ll clean it up
Or find someone who will
They’re professionals
In service for the thrill
For the thrill