Rebirth

by Leslie Hudson

/
1.
03:18
2.
03:14
3.
4.
02:42
5.
04:07
6.
7.
03:32
8.
04:20
9.
04:10
10.

about

Only 65 physical copies of Rebirth went out into the world and they were distributed long, long ago in the late 90s, lost to the mists of time most likely. So I present for the first time in digital form my very first album in its entirety.

I offer this to share with you where I began as a performer, as the songwriter who stepped away from Christianity, from writing and performing Christian music, to figure out who she was on the outside of the fold and what it meant to be free of a lifetime of constraints.

I've slightly EQ'd these tracks and gently rounded the edges, but otherwise barely touched them. They are who I was at 20. And although for these past 20 years I've hidden that confused and angry young woman away with her songs in the dark, her 40-year-old older sister thinks it's time to let them out.

There's passion and longing in the mess of keys and tangled loss that is Rebirth. The tower fell, the veil was lifted, and the bridges burned...so the songwriter sang. Be gentle with her. She was rebuilding her life.

credits

released September 15, 1998

All songs written & performed by Leslie Hudson
Recorded by Simon Lebrun
HSC Project Studio, Hamilton ON (1998)

Cover photo by Leslie Hudson
Cover design by Karl Stahl

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Leslie Hudson Stratford, Ontario

Leslie Hudson is what happens when Tori Amos and Loreena McKennitt swap set lists. She sings about the paths women walk through life and myth and media. A mistress of the keys, powerhouse vocalist and evocative storyteller, she is the synthesis of influence and invocation, a sonic tapestry of vulnerable ferocity pursuing equity in all its forms. ... more

contact / help

Contact Leslie Hudson

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Lifetimes
And I know that inside you you can hear my voice
And I know that inside you you hear me
And I know that inside you you can hear my voice
And I know that inside you you hear

One lifetime I woke and I found I was tin
So easily swayed I buckled in the wind
And this is the way that I lived my life
I gave to the wind and it broke me

And my eyes have been blinded, my uniform’s thin
And my hair has been dyed neutral grey
And I’m marching in single file, silent and grim
And the nightingale flies on her way

One lifetime I woke and I found I was blood
I felt every touch, I could be passionate
And this is the way that I lived my life
I turned to the wind and it fed me

And my blood has been dripping since I said I’d stay
And I’m slashing my wrists on my knees
And I lift up my head, screaming, Take me away!
To the nightingale sailing her breeze

And I know that inside you you can hear my voice
And I know that inside you you hear me
And I know that inside you you can hear my voice
And I know that inside you you hear

One lifetime I woke and I found I was stone
I stuck to my guns, the earth was my throne
And this is the way that I lived my life
I threw out the wind and it healed me

And my eyes have been opened, the paint is all dry
And my chains will melt off if I run
And I finally see that I know how to fly
And the nightingale shows me the sun

And I know that inside you you can hear my voice
And I know that inside you you hear me
And I know that inside you you can hear my voice
And I know that inside you you hear
Track Name: Free
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
And it’s all because of me
What a wonderful night to be free

Going on a picnic, not a cloud in the sky
Running through the green grass, splashing
Where did that puddle come from?
Where did the sun go?
Where did the sun go?
Must have been that spider that I killed before we came

When did I get to be powerful?
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
And it’s all because of me

What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free

What kind of power lets a man damn another with his tongue?
The painted lady, singing
Where did my husband go to?
Where did the sun go?
Where did the sun go?
I wonder why his laughter is still ringing in my ears

When did I get to be powerful?
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
And it’s all because of me

When did I get to be powerful?
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
The world is spinning out of control
And it’s all because of me

I lead a good life and I pray for my brother’s health now
What if I slip down?
Will you rape that girl just to punish me?
I’d rather live in the darkness
If I have to pay for the light
With my own blood as the sacrifice

What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free

What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be free
What a wonderful night to be me
Track Name: Her Atonement
There is something you lost
Though I can’t see the meaning
There was someone you trusted
And someone betrayed you

There was someone you talked to in the dark
In your corner
Through the window you let yourself fly

And you flew, you flew, you flew away
And you flew, you flew, you flew away
And you flew, you flew, you flew away
And you flew, you flew, you flew away

There was distance between us
And I thought I could help you
But my questions just seemed
To drive you away

And you found a new home there in the dark
Where you whisper
Like a child beaten down by her god

So you flew, you flew, you flew away
So you flew, you flew, you flew away
So you flew, you flew, you flew away
So you flew, you flew, you flew away

And how do I get your soul back?
Back from the place where you’ve gone
And how do I get your soul back?
Back from the place where you’ve gone

Is it my fault that you are this way?
Is it my fault that you ran away?
Is it my fault that you learned to hate?
Yes, it’s my fault that you’ll never stay

I could be there to talk to in the dark
In your secrets
I could win your heart back if you try

But you flew, you flew, you flew away
But you flew, you flew, you flew away
But you flew, you flew, you flew away
But you flew, you flew, you flew away

And I’ll never get your soul back
Back from the place where you’ve gone
And I’ll never get your soul back
Back from the place where you’ve gone

‘Cause your soul, it flew, it flew away
‘Cause your soul, it flew, it flew away
‘Cause your soul, it flew, it flew away
‘Cause your soul, it flew, it flew away

And all I have left here is a grave
Track Name: Anonymous
Under your thumb we sit here
Silently and patiently and humble sitting still
Deaf, mute and dumb we squirm here
Patience child, you know I’ve got so many mouths to feed
Patience child, you know I’ve got to let somebody bleed
Patience child, you know I’ve got so many men to drown
Patience child, you know I’ve got to burn this city down

Ooo omnipotent power-trip
Ooo women and children first
Ooo who needs the devil anyway?
Ooo he’s quenching his hollow thirst

All in a line we stand here
We can suck the marrow from the bones that you discard
Toss us a bone we beg here
Sorry child, I’ve checked my book and you’re not on the list
Sorry child, you’re Jewish and your fathers got me pissed
Sorry child, but listen, I don’t wanna have to shout
Sorry child, my arbitrary will has left you out

Ooo omnipotent power-trip
Ooo women and children first
Ooo who needs the devil anyway?
Ooo he’s quenching his hollow thirst

Please don’t waste my precious time
Please don’t waste your precious time
Please don’t waste my precious time
Please don’t waste your precious time
Track Name: Blame
What does it mean to be beautiful?
What does it mean when you tell me I’m beautiful?
Don’t take this straight-jacket off of me
I’m wearing it now to protect you from me

‘Cause maybe if I’m in this padded room
I won’t cause you pain
And maybe if I stay inside this room
I won’t be to blame

Don’t try to hold or console me
Don’t try to build yourself up as my hero
Showing me his faults won’t make me see your shine
What do you mean that the shine is all mine?

Though maybe if I’m on this pedestal
I won’t see your pain
Oh and maybe if I can forget it all
I won’t be to blame

But how do I forget your face every morning?
And how do I forget the way that you loved me?

Ripples and waves lap my feet
And I’m flying away
To a place that is cold
Maybe the numbness
Will seep through my body
And if I close my eyes I’ll be old

I would like to fly away
I would like to fly

That’s what you get for your honesty
That’s what you get when you show them your honesty
Too many tears have been shed tonight
Break free from the guilt and step into the light

What good can I do in my padded room?
Time to feel the pain
And closing my eyes in my padded room
I’m the one to blame

‘Cause I can never forget your face while I’m living
And I can never forget your love while I’m living

Turning to face all the tears
I’ve been running away
I’ve been flying away
Maybe the heartache will seep from my body
And if I close my eyes I’ll be yours

I would like to fly with you
I would like to fly
I would like to fly with you
I would like to fly
Track Name: Backseat Driver
I am sitting in the backseat of my car
I know the chauffeur’s name but I can’t see the car’s direction
Hey mister, give me the wheel
“Hush darlin’, don’t cry”
He said, “Hush darlin’, don’t cry”

Somehow I’m trapped in my own car
Can’t see the chauffeur’s face, he won’t let me sit beside him
But mister, this is my car
“Hush darlin’, don’t cry”
He just said, “Hush little darlin’, don’t cry”

I just want to be the driver
I don’t want to follow your lead
I don’t want your constant guidance
Hey, I don’t want your world
I said hey, I can’t be your girl

We switch places and I’m at the wheel
I know this chauffeur well, he is one bad backseat driver
Hey mister, I’m going insane
“Hush darlin’, don’t cry”
He just said, “Hush darlin’, don’t cry”

I just want to be the driver
I don’t want to follow your lead
I don’t want your constant guidance
Hey, I don’t want your world
I said hey, I can’t be your girl

‘Cause I just want to sit in silence
I don’t want you in my backseat
I am dropping you off on the corner
Hey, have fun in your world
I said hey, I am my own girl

Hey mister, how does it feel?
Hush darlin’, don’t cry
I said, Hush darlin’, don’t cry
Track Name: The Ghost
The rolling of the sea will be forever haunting me

Covered with the moon
I went walking along the shore
The sand beneath my feet
My ragged dress is torn
I could have sworn
That it was new this morning
Or was it last week?
Where’s the time gone?

The rolling of the sea will be forever haunting me

Turning from the moon
I wandered into the waves
And as I touched eternity
The ocean bled my name
And I could blame it
For reminding me
That I am too weak
Where’s the time gone?

The rolling of the sea will be forever haunting me

Floating with the sea
I went drifting far from shore
The salt was in my eyes
I went out with the tide
I couldn’t hide
That I was dying
The sand had run through
And there’s the time gone

The rolling of the sea will be forever haunting me
The rolling of the sea will be forever haunting me
Track Name: Stone Ears
Shadows
hide you
bleeding
silent

Weighed down
love drowned
raging
empty

My tears
stone ears
Your fears
Hands tied
who cried?

Sundown
night falls
blackness
thunder

Waves crash
wind roars
heart pounds
sinking

My tears
stone ears
Your fears
Hands tied
who cried?

Dreaming
reaching
someone
smiling

Blind eyes
open
kind words
spoken

Come home
I’m here
no more
searching

Safely
guarded
love me
set free

My tears
fog clears
Your fears
Hearts tied
eyes dried
Track Name: I Am
Caught in a hole
And there’s no way out
No windows
And I reach for the staircase
Two at a time
Running blind into walls
My vision
Is clouded by my mask
And I ask

Is this future before me mine?
All I can see is my past
Running over me
Help me to break from its
Grasping at straws
Empty hands reaching out
For my throat
Choking smoke lifting me
From my body
I am

Lost on a pier
Let the waves crash on
I’m drowning
As red lights turn to slumber
Why am I here?
Will the elements
Come with me?
When water turns to stone
And the wind burns the

Future before me
Is all I can see just my past
Running over me?
Help me to break from its
Grasping at straws
Empty hands reaching out
For my throat
Choking smoke lifting me
From my body
I am

I am
I am
Who was I supposed to be?
Who will I become?
Who am I now?
Who am I now?
I am
Track Name: (Hidden Track)
(instrumental)

Leslie Hudson recommends:

If you like Leslie Hudson, you may also like: